look no pants
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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