Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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