I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize