K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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