I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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