I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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