just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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