HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize