butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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