Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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