how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
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he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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