Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize