Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize