Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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