eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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