I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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