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how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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