so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize