why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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