You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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