sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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