Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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