it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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