Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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