wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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