I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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