did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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