I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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