I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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