i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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