there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
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That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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