i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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