please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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