im having a threesome with these popsicles
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize