I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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