just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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