I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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