I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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