and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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