After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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