actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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