a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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