Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize