The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize