She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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