Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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