i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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