I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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