He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize