i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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